Tag: Loneliness

Society Needs To Better Address The Problem Of Loneliness

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Bi+/LGBTQ Issues, Social Issues

   Is it me, or is loneliness something that most people don’t want to talk about? To be honest, I think the latter is often more true these days. It does seem to be a subject most people seem to want to avoid. But guess what? When you refuse to discuss it, those of us who are dealing with loneliness often feel that much more lonely.
   I think as a society we can and should do much better on this issue.
   Most everyone feels lonely from time to time. It’s part of life. But for some people, loneliness is much more intense and/or lasts for far, far longer. It can be terribly painful, heartbreaking, and even debilitating. As to why loneliness occurs in the first place, well, that’s something that can be quite complicated and a subject books could be written about.
   There isn’t room here to go into all of the causes of loneliness but here are a few factors that I think commonly come into play. Consider an individual who feels different from other people around them for one reason or another. It could be due to physical appearance, sexuality, gender identity, age, personality, the list goes on. Now think about how that individual feels when those around this person treat them as different, like they don’t fit in. Intolerance and prejudice can play major roles in this type of scenario making the individual feel terribly isolated and lonely. Things like depression, social anxiety, bipolar disorder, and others also can be factors as to why a person feels lonely. With regards to depression, the adage of which came first, the chicken or the egg, can be an apt analogy. This is because in some cases, depression may be a significant reason why a person feels lonely in the first place while in other scenarios, the loneliness is leading to the depression. And it can be a combination of both.
   The potential causes of loneliness are clearly wide and varied. Whatever the cause, it can feel heart-wrenching and brutal at times while being compounded by the fact that so many people in society don’t want to talk about it.
   So let’s change this. Society needs to acknowledge and address the problem of loneliness and the fact that it is much more common than most people want to admit. This in turn would help lonely people feel a little less lonely and realize that they are not alone in their struggles. It might encourage more people (both those dealing with loneliness and those who are not) to look at themselves to see how they could do better. It could also help motivate individuals to seek out help when they need it. And if more people would be willing to reach out to others showing kindness and friendship, that too would help alleviate the problem.
  So please think about this. Recognize the issue of loneliness whether it’s something that you have to deal with yourself or not. Try to be kind to others and more willing to consider offering your hand in friendship to another. They may need it more than you know.
  

Loneliness Is Much More Common Than Many People Realize Or Want To Admit

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Social Issues

  Loneliness is tough and much more common the most people realize. It can be painful, exhausting, heartbreaking, and potentially devastating, especially when we let it consume us. At times, it can feel hopeless, overwhelming, and has the potential to increase the risk of mental and physical health problems.
   Anyone is susceptible, from individuals with lots of people around them to others who are physically isolated.  All ages, genders, sexualities, races… No one is immune.
   Kinda scary isn’t it.
   I know all about loneliness because I’ve been living with it for many years. I understand the pain and challenges. Seeing other people have significant others and numerous close friends while I’m on my own.
   As to why loneliness occurs, that is complicated and varies from person to person with numerous factors potentially coming into play. Physical isolation, lack of common interests, being different from people in one’s environment, depression, social anxiety, shyness, and low interpersonal communication skills are a few examples.
   Age can play a role as well. Studies have shown that for most individuals over 30, the number of friends they have decreases. This is probably connected to people getting into long-term relationships, starting families, dealing with careers, and so on. As a result, some of the friendships they had from before drift away. As to the established friendships that continue, there may be changes such as not seeing each other quite as often because for many individuals, their significant others and families have become their main source of social interaction. The result is that most people over 30 aren’t particularly looking for new friends. From their perspective, they’re too busy or don’t need them. So for individuals who are lonely and searching for new friends, finding them becomes even more difficult.
   Loneliness can be terribly challenging to deal with, but we should work hard at not letting it consume us. We must learn to control it, not let it control us.
   Believe in yourself, even at the most difficult moments. Remember that you can rely on yourself no matter what. I know, it can be brutal at times, but never give up on you.
   Stay open to the possibility of connecting with someone because after being hurt so much and so often, it can be easy to automatically shut people out to try to protect ourselves from further disappointments, letdowns, rejections, and crushed hopes. The problem with shutting people out is that it can also isolate us even more and prevent us from establishing contact and potential relationships with others. 
   So be open to meeting people. Don’t automatically rule out letting them in. If they hurt you, don’t let it bring you down. I know it can be frustrating and terribly painful, especially when you don’t have any close friends and attempts to find one seem to keep failing. Still, metaphorically speaking: Get back up, brush yourself off, and keep moving forward.
   Another thing is to try to find happiness in yourself. There is truth to the idea of love and have faith in yourself.
   Believe in you! Doing so will help make life more enjoyable and also increase the possibility of perhaps connecting with others. And if you don’t find someone to connect with anytime soon, you’ll still have you!
   Do things you enjoy, even if you are doing them on your own. Use your imagination because there, you can experience, explore, and do whatever you want.
   And don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. There is absolutely no shame in doing so, and it may help you cope with your circumstances a whole lot better.
   And please, never give up!
   Remember that you can always rely on yourself and be your own best friend!

Why Do We Subject Ourselves To The Confusing, Frustrating Dating World?

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Bi+/LGBTQ Issues, Social Issues

   The dating world….
   It’s a mysterious world involving happiness, joy, consternation, pain, sorrow, heartbreak, you name it. For some, finding people to go on dates with is easy while for others it is a grinding, ongoing battle that keeps resulting in rejection, disappointment, heartbreak, and pain. And for many, it’s probably a combination.
   So why do so many of us keep subjecting ourselves to the war that trying to find someone to date often entails?
   The reasons can be certainly vary from person to person. But a big one for many of us is that we don’t want to spend our lives alone. It can get old having no one to come home to after a long, busy day. No one else is there to tell a funny story to about something that happened at work or to commiserate with about some frustrating event that occurred. No one to snuggle with while watching a good movie at night, no one to laugh or cry with, and no one to cuddle with in that lonely bed. When this state of affairs goes on day after day, night after night for weeks, months, or years, it can be terribly painful. It’s something many people fear.
   So we wade into the strange, uncertain world of dating. And how that works out varies from person to person. Some people have an easier time finding dates than others. Over 10 years ago, at the place where I worked at the time, was a fellow employee who had gotten out of a bad relationship. After taking a break from the romantic world, she decided to try a dating site. She was a straight, nice, attractive young woman, and I figured a lot of people would be interested in her. At the time, I had already been on dating sites for several years without success (dates were rare and went nowhere). In less than a month, she had met a guy she really liked. They ended up getting married, and all these years later, they’re still together with several kids. Whereas, despite being on multiple dating sites and Meetup groups, I still haven’t found anyone. Dates continue to be rare and go nowhere.
   Numerous factors come into play when it comes to the dating world and trying to find someone special. Personality, physical appearance, interests, how people see you, location, and so on. Some people are quite popular in the dating world while others are not. The truth is that I am in the latter category. I’m one of those individuals whom people see as too different. I’m not into watching sports and have never been into drinking. My being bisexual+ turns most people off very quickly despite the fact I’d be faithful and monogamous. The result is that I haven’t had much success in the dating world and will likely always be alone.
   While finding someone special is something most people want, not everyone will succeed in this quest. That is the cold, hard reality. And for those who do find someone special, it won’t be perfect and will require work. You may be lucky with your relationship lasting the rest of your days, or it may be good for a while but end in separation and/or divorce. Whatever the situation, people need to keep their chin up. There are many facets to life, and you can have a productive, satisfying life even if you don’t find romantic love (or you lose it). Remember the things that bring you joy. On your own, you can still enjoy a good movie or read a fun, interesting book. You can take that trip to some amazing place without a significant other. Perhaps you have friends to interact and connect with. The point is that whether you have success in the dating world or not, don’t let it totally consume you. Whether you find someone or not, you can still have a good life.

Too Many People Get Hurt Because Of Being Seen As Too Different

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Bi+/LGBTQ Issues, Social Issues

1-29-22
   People’s fear and/or discomfort of what they don’t understand hurt others far too often. And unfortunately, there are plenty of examples in society today.
   In general, it seems that many people only want to be involved with individuals, organizations, places, ideas, and so on that fit into their comfort zone. This means they tend to just associate with others who are similar to them. It can manifest in many ways, like people only socializing with others who share their views (such as in religion, politics, and interests). Whether they consciously realize it or not, these individuals frequently avoid those whom they see as too different, and this can be detrimental to all concerned in numerous ways.
   For one thing, this tendency can insulate people far too severely so that they often fail to open their minds. As this happens, they don’t adequately consider other ideas and points of view and as a result, usually don’t give such things anywhere close to a fair chance. The consequences of this sort of behavior end up hurting themselves as well as others.
   We can see the effects of this in a plethora of ways. One is in politics. Many people today focus their political discussions and fervor only with others who already agree with them and immediately reject ideas coming from individuals they see as too different. Just because one may disagree with another in numerous ways politically, doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t have some good points or ideas. If both parties would open their minds, they may find some common ground in places and perhaps the potential for compromise. They may also learn from each other and thus broaden their minds even further.
   Another area where the consequences are seen far too often is in the social realm. It is terribly common how so many people only socialize with or date others they see as similar enough (and not too different). The result is that many people get hurt and end up feeling rejected and lonely. This is especially true for individuals whom too much of society don’t understand and end up closing their minds to. For example, many bisexual+ people find dating brutally difficult despite the fact that they can be just as faithful as anyone else. Numerous others (such as individuals who are transgender, genderfluid, genderqueer, nonbinary, asexual, and so on) have terrible challenges in trying to date because of being seen as too different. Most people automatically reject them in a kneejerk type of reaction without even trying to get to know them. The result is that far too many individuals feel isolated and alone. Plus, those who are so quick to reject them may be missing out on what could potentially have been a wonderful relationship.
   These are just a few examples. People in general need to open their minds and cease being so quick to judge. They should stop being so fearful of what they don’t adequately understand and instead, work to educate themselves and broaden their horizons, for doing so would likely make the lives of themselves and others so much better.

Too Many People Are Hurting Due To A Lack Of Acceptance From Much Of Society.

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Bi+/LGBTQ Issues, Social Issues

   Hey there folks. I’d like to talk about something that’s very important which many people don’t realize. The fact is that there are a great number of LGBTQ people who are hurting, isolated, and alone because too many members of the Straight and Gay / Lesbian Communities don’t fully accept us. And this needs to change. It’s the 21st century for crying out loud.
   Who am I talking about you may wonder. It’s actually a lot more people than you may think. Bisexual+, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, Nonbinary, Transgender, Asexual, and others (NTBA+ for short) often feel like we’re not fully accepted by most of society so that far too often, we end up very isolated and alone.
   Many people fear, and even ostracize, individuals whom they see as too different. Often, they assume the worst. That somehow we must be confused and untrustworthy. Or that we’re just plain too weird. The result is that they don’t fully accept us.
   The consequences are that too many NTBA+ people end up feeling like we don’t belong anywhere and that people don’t want us. It makes finding true friends incredibly difficult and often dating becomes virtually impossible, despite the fact that we can be just as faithful and monogamous as anyone else and that we want love too. Unfortunately, too many of us are having to face the brutal reality that we are probably going to be alone for the rest of our lives.
   Things need to change.
   The Straight and Gay / Lesbian Communities as a whole need to open their minds and their hearts. NTBA+ people deserve acceptance and a chance. Don’t automatically reject us because of who we are. Try to open your minds and get to know us. We also enjoy the same interests and activities that you do, whether it’s movies, TV shows, and art or good food, travel, and the outdoors. Plus, diversity should be celebrated, not feared.
   We are people too.
   We have hopes and dreams.
   We want to have happy productive lives like everyone else.
   All we are asking for is a chance.
   If everyone strove to be kind, considerate, tolerant, open-minded, and accepting, imagine how wonderful and magical the world could be for everyone.

Valentine’s Day Can Be A Rough Day For Many People

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Social Issues

2-14-21
   Well, it’s Valentine’s Day. A day for celebrating romance, love, companionship, and that special someone.
   But what about those of us who have no one, who never found romance, or who had it once but it’s gone now? This day can be frustrating and brutally difficult because it reminds many of us of what we either have never been able to find or had once but lost. For those of us who are alone, seeing and hearing all the trappings this day entails can be like having salt rubbed into a festering wound causing terrible pain. We can’t help but wonder about why others have romance in their lives while we don’t, and such thoughts can be particularly difficult on this holiday.
   So for those of us for whom Valentine’s Day is painful, hang in there and do your best not to let it bring you down. Keep your chin up. Do something you enjoy. Like watching a good movie, reading an interesting book, playing a video game, taking a walk, something that brings you joy.
   Will romantic love be in your future? I don’t know. For some, finding real romance will happen, yet for others, it won’t.
   Whatever the future holds, hang in there and believe in yourself. If you never find a significant other, remember that you always have yourself. Can always rely on yourself. You can be your own best friend.
   You will always have you.

Loneliness Is More Common Than Many Realize Or Want To Admit

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Social Issues

   It can be really sobering when you look around and realize how few, if any, genuine friends you have. Some people have numerous good friends, but others of us don’t. A lot of people have friends with whom both parties initiate contact to say hello, have conversations, and support one another. But some of us don’t. For too many people these days, there are few to no close friends who initiate contact, and when we try to initiate an online conversation for example, people often don’t even bother to respond.
   Loneliness is tough. It can be painful, exhausting, heartbreaking, and potentially devastating, especially when we let it consume us. At times, it can feel hopeless and almost overwhelming.
   Loneliness also has the potential to increase risks of mental and physical health problems.
   I know all about loneliness because I’ve been living with it for decades. I understand the pain and challenges that come with it. Seeing other people have numerous close friends while I can’t seem to find even one.
   Anyone is susceptible. It can be individuals with lots of people around them or others who are physically alone and isolated.  All ages, genders, sexualities, races… No one is immune.
   Kinda scary I know.
   Thing is, while loneliness can be terribly challenging to deal with, we shouldn’t let it consume us. We must learn to control it, not let it control us.
   Believe in yourself, even at the most difficult moments. Remember that you can rely on yourself no matter what. I know, it can be brutal at times, but never give up on you.
   Stay open to the possibility of connecting with someone because after being hurt so much and so often, it can be easy to automatically shut people out to try to protect ourselves from further disappointments, letdowns, rejections, and crushed hopes. The problem with shutting people out is that it can also isolate us even more and prevent us from establishing contact and potential relationships with others. 
   So be open to meeting people. Don’t automatically rule out letting them in. If they hurt you, don’t let it bring you down. I know it can be frustrating and terribly painful, especially when you don’t have any close friends and attempts to find one seem to keep failing. Still, metaphorically speaking: Get back up, brush yourself off, and keep moving forward.
   Another thing is to try to find happiness in yourself. There is truth to the idea of love and have faith in yourself.
   Believe in you! Doing so will help make life more enjoyable and also increase the possibility of perhaps connecting with others. And if you don’t find someone to connect with anytime soon, you’ll still have you!
   Do things you enjoy, even if you are doing them on your own. Use your imagination because there, you can experience, explore, and do whatever you want.
   And don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. There is absolutely no shame in doing so, and it may help you cope with your circumstances a whole lot better.
   And please, never give up!
   Remember that you can always rely on yourself!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/loneliness
   

Loneliness Is A Major Problem That Needs To Be Addressed

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Social Issues

   Loneliness, it’s tough. It can be painful, exhausting, heartbreaking, and potentially devastating, especially when we let it consume us. At times, it can feel almost overwhelming.
   Loneliness also has the potential to increase the risks of mental and physical health problems.
   I know all about loneliness because I’ve been living with it for decades. I understand the pain and challenges that come with it. Seeing other people have numerous close friends while I can’t seem to find even one.
   Anyone is susceptible. Individuals with lots of people around them or others who are physically alone and isolated.  All ages, genders, sexualities, races… No one is immune.
   Kinda scary I know.
   Thing is, while loneliness can be terribly challenging to deal with, we shouldn’t let it consume us. We must learn to control it, not let it control us.
   Believe in yourself, even at the most difficult moments. Remember that you can rely on yourself no matter what. I know, it can be brutal at times, but never give up on you.
   Stay open to the possibility of connecting with someone because after being hurt so much, it can be easy to automatically shut people out to try to protect ourselves from more disappointments, letdowns, and rejections. The problem with shutting people out is that it can also isolate us even more and prevent us from establishing contact and potential relationships with others. 
   So be open to meeting other people. Don’t automatically rule out letting them in. If they hurt you, don’t let it bring you down. I know it can be frustrating and terribly painful, especially when you don’t appear to have any close friends and attempts to find one seem to keep failing. Still, metaphorically speaking: Get back up, brush yourself off, and keep moving forward.
   Another thing is to try to find happiness in yourself. There is truth to the idea of love and have faith in yourself.
   Believe in you! Doing so will help make life more enjoyable and also increase the possibility of perhaps connecting with others.
   Do things you enjoy, even if you are doing them on your own. Use your imagination because there, you can experience, explore, and do whatever you want.
   And don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. There is absolutely no shame in doing so, and it may help you cope with your circumstances a whole lot better.
   And please, never give up!
   Remember that you can always rely on yourself!
   

During Challenging Times, Believe In Yourself And Don’t Give Up!

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Bi+/LGBTQ Issues, Current Events, Social Issues

5-13-20
   When times are tough, whatever the cause, you need to hang in there, believe in yourself, and stay strong.
   It’s not always easy. I get that. Really, I do because I’m dealing with challenging things right now as I write this.
   I’ve had terrible slander spread about me and experienced repeatedly how people, whom I had thought I could count on, abandoned me when I needed support. It’s like everything is hitting the fan and you are left to face it alone.
   It can be heartbreaking and devastating, leaving you feeling so isolated and lonely at a time when you could really use people in your corner. When difficult situations occur, a person may discover that many people whom they thought were friends, really weren’t, making one feel even more alone.
   Seeing how when the going gets tough, so many get the hell out of Dodge, it’s easy to become eaten up with feelings of bitterness, anger, hurt, and pain. While having these emotions is quite normal, don’t let them consume you. That’s not healthy either. Learn to manage such feelings. Don’t let them run your life. Even though it may be hard to believe, there are decent, good individuals in the world. Don’t give up on all humanity. Instead, try to be wiser in dealing with it.
   Be strong. Have courage. Believe in your ability to handle whatever you need to deal with! Don’t give up on the human race , but also remember that you can rely on yourself and be your own best friend.
   You will get through this!

Loneliness Is An All Too Common Problem That Needs To Be Recognized

by inmanb17cedcb09, posted in Social Issues

   Loneliness…
   Loneliness, it’s tough. It can be painful, exhausting, heartbreaking, and potentially devastating, especially when we let it consume us. At times, it can feel almost overwhelming.
   Loneliness also has the potential to increase the risks of mental and physical health problems.
   I know all about loneliness because I’ve been living with it for decades. I understand the pain and challenges that come with it. Seeing other people have numerous close friends while I can’t seem to find even one.
   Anyone is susceptible. Individuals with lots of people around them or others who are physically alone and isolated.  All ages, genders, sexualities, races… No one is immune.
   Kinda scary I know.
   Thing is, while loneliness can be terribly challenging to deal with, we shouldn’t let it consume us. We must learn to control it, not let it control us.
   Believe in yourself, even at the most difficult moments. Remember that you can rely on yourself no matter what. I know, it can be brutal at times, but never give up on you.
   Stay open to the possibility of connecting with someone because after being hurt so much, it can be easy to automatically shut people out to try to protect ourselves from more disappointments, letdowns, and rejections. The problem with shutting people out is that it can also isolate us even more and prevent us from establishing contact and potential relationships with others. 
   So be open to meeting other people. Don’t automatically rule out letting them in. If they hurt you, don’t let it bring you down. I know it can be frustrating and terribly painful, especially when you don’t appear to have any close friends and attempts to find one seem to keep failing. Still, metaphorically speaking: Get back up, brush yourself off, and keep moving forward.
   Another thing is to try to find happiness in yourself. There is truth to the idea of love and have faith in yourself.
   Believe in you! Doing so will help make life more enjoyable and also increase the possibility of perhaps connecting with others.
   Do things you enjoy, even if you are doing them on your own. Use your imagination because there, you can experience, explore, and do whatever you want.
   And don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. There is absolutely no shame in doing so, and it may help you cope with your circumstances a whole lot better.
   And please, never give up!
   Remember that you can always rely on yourself!