I’m going to be up front about the fact that I am queer with a fluid sexuality (bisexual+) and a fluid gender (genderfluid). As such, I unfortunately have experience with how so many cisgender people have a serious lack of understanding with regards to genderfluid, genderqueer, non-binary, and transgender individuals. This in turn leads to intolerance and prejudice. And by the way, I’m going to use transgender+ as an umbrella term for this diverse group.
Maybe I should start by explaining who we are. A transgender person is an individual who identifies as a different gender than the sex the person was assigned at birth. For example: a transgender woman may have been assigned male at birth but identifies as a woman. Transitioning is the process of trying to live as the gender she identifies with as opposed to the sex she was assigned at birth. A non-binary person is someone who doesn’t identify as either male or female. They don’t relate with the traditional male/female binary. A genderfluid individual is someone whose gender identity is fluid. A mixture of male, female, and in between. How much they feel one way as compared to the others can fluctuate one minute to the next. Thus, the fluid aspect of the term. Genderqueer refers to individuals who don’t subscribe (either fully or in part) to the traditional gender binary. Clearly, there is overlap and interconnection with some of these terms, and quite a few transgender+ people use more than one to describe themselves.
Often, people fear, ridicule, make fun of, and even attack things that they don’t understand or are uncomfortable with. This is especially common among cisgender individuals with regards to transgender+ people. But when a person does this to a community that is already hurting and suffering, it worsens the pain and intolerance that community is already being forced to endure. It reinforces and exacerbates the lack of understanding and prejudice that is so pervasive in this society. This can further lead to prejudiced policies and laws that take rights away from the transgender+ community which in turn unfairly worsens the quality of life for trans+ people.
Consider this: many transgender+ people are afraid when having to use public restrooms because of the risk of verbal and even physical abuse. And in some places, they could even be in danger of arrest. Using public restrooms is something cisgender people take for granted. Dating is another area that transgender+ individuals such as myself often find brutally difficult because most cisgender people won’t even consider dating us, even if they were interested before realizing our gender identity. The result of all this is that far too many trans+ people feel terribly isolated and alone. Studies have shown that the transgender+ community suffers higher rates of depression and suicide than the cisgender community. This is obviously connected to intolerance, prejudice, lack of understanding, isolation, and loneliness.
For things to get better, people need to educate themselves and open their minds. Put themselves in other people’s shoes so to speak. The fact of the matter is: when it comes to transgender+ people, we are trying to be true to who we really are. Think about how hard it would be going through life feeling isolated and alone just because you’re trying to be true to yourself. Imagine having to be concerned about the threat of being attacked or arrested simply because you’re using a public restroom. If more members of the cisgender community would open their hearts and minds, that would improve the quality of life for transgender+ people but also for themselves.
Here are a couple of websites that can help you learn more about the Transgender+ Community:
https://glaad.org/transgender/transfaq/
https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/transgender-people-gender-identity-gender-expression
